apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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