He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
