Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
