her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
