Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
is wine microwaveable?
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Randomize
