Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I wish you could order shots online.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
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