So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
