did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
