Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
