So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
We smell like vodka and hangover
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