Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
