Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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