There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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