At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
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