I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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