i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
