Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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