All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
