I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
