SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
