I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Randomize
