She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
