it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Randomize
