he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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