We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Randomize
