need another drink. this is the easiest way
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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