Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
