Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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