She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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