I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
