I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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