it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
