do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
this will be a night to untag.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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