i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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