why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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