I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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