I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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