dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
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