what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
