I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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