Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
