just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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