I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
