you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
