I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
