how can u be prego again
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
