I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
