Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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