Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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