u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
