I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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