if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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