just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Boobs are out for the taking
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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