If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
